When we meet up with body positivity activist and writer Siphokazi Veti on set in Cape Town, she’s every bit as radiant as she seems on social media. And while her personality bubbles with enthusiasm and an undeniable optimism, we soon find there's a depth to Siphokazi that is beyond her years. She opens up with the kind of refreshing honesty that is so rare in the age of social media.

Maintaining that level of positivity and energy isn’t always easy she admits, especially when it comes to the relationship she has with her body. Rather, it’s a journey and a process that needs daily practicing. So when Siphokazi revealed some of her daily mantras for happier living, we were all ears.

Why do you think it takes people so long to learn self-love? 

I think over time the world got lost in communication. Especially in media, and how it defined beauty and self-worth for so long. That kind of thing shapes young minds, and children lose something important at a young age.

What were your experiences growing up regarding self-love? 

I had an eating disorder and social anxiety. On top of that, my body started changing and maturing from an early age, but I didn’t feel comfortable to ask advice to find out more about what was happening to me. And so for a long time, I didn’t feel comfortable with myself.

When did you start feeling comfortable with your body?

Only when I got to university, and started exploring feminism. That was a major turning point. A whole new world opened up for me.

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No matter how hard you attempt to shrink me, the truth remains.. You can’t unsee me 📸: @everydaypeoplestories

A post shared by Siphokazi Veti (@siphokaziveti) on Jan 9, 2019 at 9:24am PST

How did feminism help you through this? 

It taught me the importance of choice, individuality and fighting for who you are, and fighting to tell your story. It taught me to be proud of being a woman and the magic that is womanhood.

Do you find yourself looking to other women for guidance and inspiration? 

I am inspired by so many incredible women, but I’ve had to take the path to self-love alone. I’ve realised I am my own healer. Until you can look at yourself in the mirror every single morning and love what you see, nothing else matters.

And do you feel this way about yourself every morning? 

Definitely not every single morning. Every day is a new chapter. Every morning that I get up, I have to set my intention. I have to affirm my value and to affirm that I am enough. Self-love is a way to enjoy the journey with your body, without being hard on yourself. If I didn’t practice that and if I continued to pay attention to others’ perceptions of me, I think I would still be in a dark space. A space that never fulfilled my purpose.

Do you ever experience negativity from people online? 

Oh yes, all the time. Especially on social media. But I even experience hate in the supermarket or on the street. But these reactions come from a place of fear. People fear bodies that exist unapologetically. I try my best not to live in that moment of hate. It’s hard, don’t get me wrong. It’s why self-affirmation is especially important. And it’s why I also turn to people that inspire me. Like my grandmother. She was raised in a time when black women couldn’t thrive yet, against all odds, she did it. And so she has become the person who really drives me forward, no matter where I am in my life. My mother is another driving force for me. I am who I am because of women like my grandmother and mother.’

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another day in love ••• self-love is a choice available to you right in this moment. Be open and stay open to the ways your existence wants to shift and manifest. Self- love is all yours; moment to moment- allow it, choose it, feel it. You don’t need to reach a level of perfection to accept yourself or to know that indeed you are enough just as you are. Come back into your body, slow down, loose your grip on expectations and surrender to love. ••• Affirmation: I am no longer afraid, I no longer apologize. I uphold my boundaries. I see the woman in the mirror, She is divine magic. She is all that I am. I will love myself in this form and the next

A post shared by Siphokazi Veti (@siphokaziveti) on Aug 16, 2018 at 8:14am PDT

Siphokazi’s 5 mantras to live by

1. SELF-LOVE 
Practice self-love every day. Do not seek validation outside of yourself through instant gratifications. If you do that you will lose yourself, and you will stop telling your own story.

2. WELLBEING
Keep on learning, keep on questioning the world around you and what it’s telling you. You are your own healer, so trust your instincts and do not always turn to others to learn and understand. Have faith in your own perceptions.
3. PROFESSIONALISM 
Remain authentic, because your story is important. I studied accounting, which wasn’t who I truly was. I was on a path where I could easily have been lost, but I remained true to who I am and what I want in life and steered myself in the right direction.

4. SPIRITUALITY 
Spirituality is important for reconnecting to your deeper, inner guide. It helps make sense of – and deepens – your purpose on earth. I grew up in a religious home, but over the years my definition of spirituality has broadened to include many different practices, including yoga.

5. GRATITUDE
Be grateful for the time you – and your loved ones – have on this earth. My sister passed away several years ago. She helped me appreciate my own existence so much more. Her passing also made me realise that she had a powerful story, and it was never told… So her passing taught me to be grateful for the time we have, and to use that time wisely.

Check out Siphokazi's Instagram
Photography: Instagram
Words: Edwain Steenkamp

From intelligent ovens that make cooking a breeze, to VW’s new monster Golf R, here’s what’s dropping this month.

Streaming series

Turn Up Charlie 

(Netflix, 15 March)
Forget Luther and the James Bond rumours – Idris Elba’s new gig is playing ‘manny’ to his famous best friend's problem-child daughter, while trying to make it as a club DJ in the Netflix Original Turn Up Charlie. Starring alongside him are Covert Affairs’ Piper Perabo as Sara and young actor Frankie Hervey as ‘problem child’ Gabrielle. Sara is a superstar DJ, feminist icon and vivacious trendsetter, who abandons the exciting life she lived in America to put down roots in London, in an attempt to give Gabrielle more stability and normality. Spoiled and savvy, Gabrielle is wise beyond her years. Neglected by her career-driven parents, she pushes the boundaries – and the sanity of her nannies – to the extreme, in order to get her mom and dad's attention. Her spiky retorts, mischievous adventures and epic tantrums hide a lonely young girl with a distorted view of reality.


Book

Gingerbread by Helen Oyeyemi 

(5 March)
Perdita Lee and her mother Harriet may appear to be just an average British schoolgirl and working-class mom, but they're not as normal as they appear to be. Apart from sharing their gold-painted, seventh-floor walk-up apartment with verbal vegetation, they also make gingerbread their fellow Londoners aren’t particularly wild about but is hugely popular in faraway Druhástrana, the (potentially imaginary) land of Harriet’s early youth. Harriet’s charismatic childhood friend, Gretel Kercheval, is their biggest fan – and also seems to have had a hand in everything, good or bad, that has happened to Harriet since they met. Decades later, when a teenage Perdita sets out to track down her mother’s long-lost friend, Harriet’s story is retold in a new light, including encounters with jealousy, ambition, family grudges, work, wealth, and real estate as the headlines – though gingerbread seems to be the constant.

Gadget

Intelligent Oven

We’ve heard of smart ovens before, with one-touch cooking for set dishes – but we’ve never seen anything like Whirlpool’s Connected Hub Wall Oven Concept, which uses augmented reality to teach you how to cook. A transparent 27-inch LCD screen replaces the traditional glass on the door, and becomes the interface which gives the user the chance to discover, learn and control the cooking process from a central hub. It integrates family calendars and analyses schedules to suggest the ideal family dinner time – then also prompts a quick recipe suggestion, based on the time and ingredients available, as well as learned family food preferences. Connected to the Yummly platform, the screen displays step-by step video instructions on how to prepare each meal, while Coordinated Cooking schedules the cooking of different dishes to ensure that everything is ready at the same time. The Whirlpool Connected Hub Wall Oven Concept debuted at CES2019, with production details, a release date and costs not yet announced.

Motoring

SuperGolf on Steroids!

Golf’s monster R model just got more aggressive, thanks to the addition of 15 extra kilowatts and new exterior design highlights. The revised model sees the power output rise from 213kW to 228kW, propelling it to 100km/h in just 4.6 seconds in conjunction with the snappy 7-speed DSG and standard Launch Control. On the exterior, optional R Performance Titanium exhaust and optional R Performance brakes with brake calipers painted black with the ‘R’ logo add extra sports appeal. Standard features include the ‘R’ designed bumpers, LED headlights and taillights. Exterior mirror housing caps come in matte chrome or optional carbon, with various 19-inch wheel choices. The revised 2.0 TSI 228kW DSG Golf R retails from R676 000 and includes a standard five-year/90 000km service plan, three-year/120 000km warranty and 12-year anti-corrosion warranty.

Film

Captain Marvel 

(8 March)
Captain Marvel finally gets her own stand-alone film in the Marvel Cinematic Universe. The film tells the story of hot-shot US Air Force officer Carol Danvers who signs up for a deep space mission with Starforce and finds herself up against her toughest-ever adversary, the Kree empire. In the process of joining Starforce, Danvers’ biology melds with Kree DNA, turning her into a hybrid, erasing her memory and setting her on a path to rediscover her true self. Set in the 1990s, Captain Marvel is an all-new adventure from a previously unseen period in the history of the Marvel Cinematic Universe. Brie Larson stars as Danvers and is supported by, among others, Samuel L. Jackson, Djimon Hounsou, Lee Pace, Ben Mendelsohn, Annette Bening and Jude Law. After Captain Marvel, Brie Larson will reprise her role in Avengers: Endgame, out in April.


Film

Hotel Mumbai 

(29 March)
Hotel Mumbai is based on the gripping true story of humanity and heroism which played out when a group of terrorists laid siege to the famed Taj Hotel in Mumbai in 2008. Among the dedicated hotel staff is the renowned chef Hemant Oberoi (Anupam Kher) and a waiter (Dev Patel) who choose to risk their lives to protect their guests. As the world watches on, a desperate couple (played by Armie Hammer and Nazanin Boniadi) is forced to make unthinkable sacrifices to protect their newborn child.

Game

Sekiro: Shadows Die Twice 

(22 March)
In Sekiro: Shadows Die Twice, players assume the role of the ‘one-armed wolf’, a disgraced warrior rescued from the brink of death. Duty-bound to protect a young lord, descended from an ancient bloodline, Sekiro becomes the target for scores of vicious enemies. When the young lord is captured, nothing can stand in the way of Sekiro’s perilous quest to regain honour and save the life of his liege. Set in the late 1500s Sengoku Japan, the game gives players the chance to unleash an arsenal of deadly prosthetic tools and powerful ninja abilities in visceral head-to-head combat that can only end in a bloody confrontation.
Available for Playstation 4, XBOX One & PC, from R799 via www.store.steampowered.com


By Trevor Crighton

Growing up in Lebowakgomo, a small township in Limpopo, and only learning English in his teens, Edgars' creator of culture and local influencer, Tsitsi Chiumya, might never have imagined a career as a comedian. But in just a few short years he’s set stages alight all over the country with his shows, raking up awards along the way. He tells Edwain Steenkamp how he got there.

Growing up, were you the funny kid? 

No, but I was definitely the naughty kid! My mom had me when she was very young, so I was raised by my grandparents who were strict but very loving. I think, with me, they had their hands full.

So comedy wasn’t something you dreamed about? 

As a kid I didn’t even know it could be a career. Living in such a small place, I had other dreams. At one stage I wanted to be an athlete more than anything. But I always knew that I wanted to live a happy life. That was something my small village taught me too: what’s most valuable in life.

What was the next major chapter of your life?

I went to study video design at Wits University. So my life nearly took a very different turn. There weren’t many kids like me on campus at that time. I felt different, but it didn’t stand in my way. In fact, I realised that somehow it allowed me to reach people.

Was it during this time that you discovered your gift of entertaining? 

Yes, that was when I started telling stories from my childhood and from where I grew up. I knew that my classmates loved the stories I told, and so I started preparing and rehearsing them in the evenings. I might have added a few embellishments here and there, but they loved the stories. It was like a whole new world opened up.

Was that when you decided on your future career path? 

Actually, it happened very slowly. I was always drawn to comedy; I remember my friends and I watching comedy shows till three in the morning. So right after university I moved to Cape Town and spent all the money I had – and also money I didn’t have – to watch every comedy show possible. From there, I started participating in any show that would have me. I eventually landed a segment on the Expresso Morning Show and added as much of my comedy into it as I could. I was travelling up and down, trying to make this all happen … getting as little as four hours sleep a night.

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A post shared by Tsitsi Chiumya (@tsitsichiumya) on Jul 14, 2018 at 3:34am PDT

How did you manage all of it? 

I honestly don’t know! I was so exhausted all the time, but it felt right. I knew it would all be worth it.

What do you think is the most important aspect of your comedy? 

I think a lot of people expect the same formula from South African comedians, that is, comedy based on the hardships of the country’s past, and the struggles we face today. You know, politically heavy content.

Do you try to stay away from that? 

I mean it enters my comedy of course. But I want to tell different stories too. Stories that everyone relates to. And for me, that's powerful comedy – the kind where the humour is universal. And I draw from some of my personal experiences.

What kind of experiences? 

I was a kid from Limpopo who could barely speak English, and then suddenly I was in a big city – there’s something about that situation everyone can relate to. Being the awkward kid, unsure of themselves and not really fitting in anywhere. Looking for acceptance, inspiration and guidance.

Speaking of inspiration, who has influenced you the most? 

More than individual people, there are moments in different people’s careers that have inspired me so much. And through these moments in many of the most legendary comedians’ careers, I have learned different techniques and styles. Drawing from that I have been able to develop my own sense of comedy.

You’re known as a smart dresser. Has this also developed over the years? 

Since I was a young boy I was aware of style. Both my grandparents were so stylish. My grandmother always dressed impeccably, and my grandfather always had the best suits. I definitely learned what style is from my family. But I was always a little shy and unsure about what looked good on me.

When did you learn to let go of that uncertainty? 

It was actually when I worked with one of the stylists at Edgars. He handed me the nicest botanical printed shirt and told me that when I go shopping, I should always look out for at least one item of clothing that’s outside my comfort zone and incorporate it into my closet. It was the best style advice I’ve ever received. To this day, that shirt is my favourite item of clothing and I take it everywhere I go.

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A post shared by Tsitsi Chiumya (@tsitsichiumya) on Oct 20, 2018 at 7:42am PDT

FUN FACTS

Favourite fashion items? 
A nice shirt, and definitely a good pair of sneakers.

Favourite food?
Pap and wors. It’s a classic.

Guilty pleasure? 
Mangoes. I can eat them any time.

How do you unwind? 
I play video games; I’m still very passionate about gaming.

Some of your favourite comedians?
Trevor Noah, Robby Collins and Kevin Hart.

Check out Tsitsi's Instagram
Photography: tsitsi.co.za, Instagram, Shutterstock